Dear Ellen, Dear David, Dear Mom, Dear everyone who has been asking me so long for an update.
This is for you..... and for Mason
We have been home twice as long as we were in the hospital.
Impossible. I can't bend my mind around it.
The two months at the hospital felt like forever. Like we were trapped in a dream within a dream and lived an entire life only to wake up to realize that in reality only a short time had passed (If you haven't see Inception then this reference wont mean much to you).
These last four months have flown by. So much has happened. So much has changed and somehow our new normal has become....well normal. The Dr's appointments, the referrals letters, the care book, the constant battles, are just part of our to do in a day just like grocery shopping, or getting the mail.
Your first Easter Basket. I accidentally bought you a preemie outfit (because it coordinated with the outfit I bought for Pierce) we almost had to grease you to get you in it.
I'm sorry for the long delay in posting. It has been mostly due to time management issues....as in I can't manage to get done everything I need to do in the time I have to do it. If you could see all the started and unfinished drafts for the blog you would laugh (or is it cry) along with me.
Everyday I SWEAR that I will finish my post and update the blog. I put it on my long list of must-do-today-no-matter-what list but it always falls after.
After the two to three medically related phone calls I have to make (which always take forever)
After the Dr's appointments of which we have at least two or more a week.
After I spend time trying to take care of your medical needs, and making sure Pierce isn't feeling left out (but I struggle with this a lot).
After the laundry, the dishes, the groceries...always after
Love that Smile!
Then night comes, impossibly fast, and I have to decide. Blog or sleep.
Guess which one wins?
It took a while but your brother actually enjoys you now
and will even hold you (for a tiny bit) for pictures.
My beautiful boy. Just a few days ago you turned six months old. Half of a year.
Just 7 months ago I cried myself to sleep most nights with only the one thought.
Whatever it takes. Please just live.
There are so many things you love. Pulling on my hair. Watching your brother jump around and spaz out. You love to watch everyone and everything around you and are always so aware of whats going on around you.
You put everything you can get your hands on in your mouth (and get quite upset when you can't get whatever you want into your mouth).
Father's day. Daddy's shirt says property of Pierce and Mason (SO TRUE)
You've been rolling for a while now and can even get onto your tummy when you want to. You haven't quite figured out how to roll back off your tummy but it's only a matter of time. You've discovered your feet and love to roll holding onto you legs till you look like a confused Sumo wrestler.
Your getting better and better at holding your head up. We work on it every day. Some with your physical therapist Marquita (who you love and you always fart on) and tons with me and Aunt JJ.
You have started to giggle. Your Aunt JJ can get you to giggle better than anyone. It's a really soft giggle almost like a whisper and if a person didn't know you well enough to hear it they would miss it but it's one of the happiest sounds I have ever heard. I treasure it every time it happens and hope to catch it on video soon.
You love to sleep being held in someones arms especially your Daddy's. You both run so hot it's like putting two heaters together and Daddy starts sweating soon after he starts holding you but he just sweats away because he doesn't want to put you down. You just tuck your face into the crook of Daddy's arms and snooze away even though your hair ends up plastered to your head with sweat. I think if you could talk you would call it your happy place.
You have the most amazing hair and it sticks out and up and around in astounding ways. No matter how hard we try and tame it.
You fall asleep around 7 pm and wake around 6 every morning. You'll play for a while and let me sleep in a bit but once you get bored you'll cough because you know I will wake up immediately to check on you (you little stinker). I will sit up and look over the side of your bassinet and you greet me with the biggest crooked smile I have ever seen and I love it every time (and it makes 6 am after only a few hours of sleep more bearable).
You look so much like your brother did at the same age (except he was off the charts large for a baby and your off the charts small for a baby) it takes my breath away sometimes. I look at the two of my beautiful boys and know I must have done something right to deserve all that I have been blessed with and I still almost can't believe that I am the mother of two boys.
I loved you from the moment I knew I was pregnant with you, the first time I saw you, the first time I held you, and all those long nights and terrifying days in the hospital my love for you grew and grew but oh Mason how I have come to love you. Not the idea of you but YOU.
I would never have wished CHARGE for you but now that your here I wouldn't wish it away because that would mean I wouldn't have YOU.
YOU my crooked smiling, whisper giggling, Sumo wrestling baby boy.
Happy six months baby. Looking forward to a lifetime more.
(ugh forgive the spacing on this post. I've been trying to fix it for an hour and I give up now)