Saturday, July 16, 2011

Yesterday...



Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away.
Now it looks as though there here to stay...
There a shadow hanging over me
yesterday came suddenly.



Thursday as I was updating the blog and writing the part about having to make medical calls everyday I remembered I needed to call the cardiologist and follow up on the echo we had done to get clearance for Mason to get his cleft palette surgery done.


Well it turns the echo showed that the patch they placed to close the large hole between the bottom two chambers of his heart is bulging and causing the blood to back up. This in turn is causing increasing pressures which will cause his heart to enlarge and eventually to fail.


He is going to need open heart surgery again sometime in the next few weeks.


His heart.


The heart that was 99% fixed is now failing and we are back where we were 6 months ago facing another critical surgery and back to that great big scary place where you don't know if your child will live.


I feel like I took a step out of the door and got run over by a Mac truck.


I feel betrayed, though there is no one to blame.


Just when we started to feel like we could exhale and feel safe we are right back to January 6th and our beautiful baby boy who today looks like this..





Will look like this again..




I cannot bear the thought of it. His chest being opened up, his heart stopped, not again.


I'm terrified. I feel like there's a two ton anvil sitting on my chest and I can't take a deep enough breath to fill my lungs.


Someone asked me if there was anything they could do to help.


There is.


Pray, if your beliefs lead you that way.


Send a little hope this way if you have any to spare because I'm feeling a little low at the moment.


and believe for us. Believe that he's going to be just fine.


Because we don't work without him



Yesterday came suddenly indeed.


We are waiting on a referral to see the cardiac surgeon and then we will know better when the surgery will be. I will let everyone know as soon as we do.

10 comments:

dxeechick said... Best Blogger Tips

Amy!!! I'm so sorry you got such crappy news. I truly believe Mason will be fine! It's so good that they caught the problem. You know, Stephen has to have another heart surgery in September, and I definitely relate to how scared you are. As much as they say he will be fine and not to anticipate any problems, its still plain ol' terrifying. Your situation is a little different too - we've always expected another surgery and yours came by surprise. There is just no way to prepare for that. Mason is seriously growing into such a beautiful boy, and you all will be in our thoughts and prayers for sure. We just have faith that the surgery will be successful and that Mason will continue to grow and grow and grow. I can't get over how amazing he looks in your photos. Much love coming to you and your family. Take care of yourself too woman.

Mandy said... Best Blogger Tips

Amy, I'm so sorry to hear this news! I haven't commented on the blog for a long time, but I keep up with your family on facebook, saying a prayer for you guys and little Mason each day. I will send extra prayers today. I just know he'll go through surgery and come out a champion, like he always has. I'll pray for peace and strength for all of you. With Love - Mandy

Leslie said... Best Blogger Tips

Oh, Amy. I'm so sorry for this news, but I do believe that he is going to be just fine through all of this. You are so brave! You guys are in my thoughts. xoxo

Molly said... Best Blogger Tips

I will be sending as many prayers and as much hope as I can! I'm so sorry you'll have to go through the whole surgery thing again. Try to keep your chin up! He's a tough, super strong little one!

thebakerbee said... Best Blogger Tips

I am so sorry to hear this news, but I am so happy that we have such a wonderful God who is watching over Mason. Your whole family is in my prayers.

goodgirrl79 said... Best Blogger Tips

That is such awful news...I'm SO sorry. We will be praying for Mason and for your family. As a matter of fact I pulled my husband out of his chair and we just prayed for Mason and your family. May God be with you. Try to think of Mother Mary, talk to her and let her give you comfort, she understands.

sherthebear said... Best Blogger Tips

I am sorry to hear this news. You are all in my prayers. He is a tough little boy and he will get through this too.

David said... Best Blogger Tips

Hi Amy, I'm not surprised, but I am very sad and sorry that this is happening. You are amazingly strong, and he is stronger, and you both have been inspiring me so much that I feel the best that can happen will happen. he gets better and better looking too, just like his big brother. You will all be in my thoughts a lot.

penny w said... Best Blogger Tips

I'm so sorry. I started following Mason's story after learning about you guys through Couponing to Disney. We've been following you since shortly after his birth. I pray for little Jelly every night because as a mother your journey has touched me. If you don't mind I'll be adding him to our church's prayer list. I'm so sorry that you guys are once again having to deal with such a major surgery. God Bless you and your family.

The Long Family said... Best Blogger Tips

Many prayers and lots of love headed your way! Mason is a fighter and has a wonderful family to help him through this next trial. Just remember to take things one step at a time, marking each triumphant milestone as little Mason's heart heals. Look how far he has come and believe in the hopes and dreams you have for his future. God bless each of you, Heather