You look absolutely horrible....

and it's one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen!

I'm so sorry. There should have been a post between Mason is in recovery and now. Oh but I have found out the hard way that 2.5 hrs of sleep in 40 hrs is just not enough. You know how I know that?

I feel asleep while using the hospital's breast pump and I woke up only when my head hit the machine as I was falling to the floor! That's pretty bad. I didn't bruise or anything but it was enough of a wake up call (pardon the pun) to know that I just had to get some sleep.

I wanted to make a quick post when I got back to the house, or at least update Auntie T so she could do a post for me, but I literally couldn't see straight. I think I was undressed and in bed within 2 minuets and asleep 1 minuet later.


Thanks to Auntie T for updating everyone when I just couldn't. Best Auntie in the world

But I just got 3.5 hours of sleep and am feeling great. I'm back by Mason's bedside,and am hoping to get all caught up with the blog.

Now on to you....

You look absolutely horrible. Your bloody, swollen, you have an open chest wound. You have a minimum of 12 tubes,4 drains, 15 monitors, 12 Iv's with meds.

But your alive and one step closer to coming home, and as your night nurse Melissa just told me your very stable for a heart baby.

As I type this you are 9 hrs out of recovery.

You are on (or are on and off) dopamine, epinephrine, albumin, fentanyl, potasium, milrinone, 2 heprine lines (to keep your other lines running), 2 IV fluid's for hydration, calcium, and you are getting blood transfusions as you need it.

You are on a ventilator, a brain profusion scanner, renal profusion scanner, artial line, CVP line, temperature monitor, and a heart pacer, a urine drainage bag, and 2 chest tubes.

You have a regular IV in your foot, an radial line, a 2 lumen jugular line, and a 2 lumen umbilical line

your Daddy saying hi after surgery

the IV's with all your medications

chest tube

urine drainage

to monitor all your vital signs

monitors for temperature, oxygen (off in pic), brain and renal profusion

ventalator (breathing)

So I or your Dad still by your bedside. Your nurse (another gift) on a constant vigil. I watch her watching you and even when she's charting, or chatting, or the 100 other things she has to do, she's always watching your numbers.

With every little change (and there is at least two an hour) she makes an adjustment to something. Take a little away, turn something up, give stronger dose, till your back in that "status quo" place they are looking for.

Just now your heart rate shot up to 170's which is too fast. The nurse gave you a bolus (or a large quick dose) of extra pain medication to see if that helped. When your heart rate didn't come down she called the Dr (one of the Fellows who is always in the unit 24/7) to your bedside.

They discussed what she had done so far, and the Dr gave orders to try something different (gave you higher dose of pain medication), and turned down some of the heart rate medication, and that he will be back in 20 minuets to try something else if that doesn't work.

This, or a version of this, happens at least once an hour, every hour and they expect it too for at least the first 24 to maybe 48 hrs of your recovery.

I'm feeling overwhelmed, and helpless, but hopeful.

9 hours down Jelly and a lifetime to go