Thursday, January 20, 2011

Long Night

I was by your bed side last night, and for the first time the thought of you not coming home has entered my mind. could you be too sick?



When I think what you have been through, I just cannot believe that. But the thought stills creeps into my mind. Here in the dark it is easy to let your thoughts wonder. I have seen kid after kid go home and we are still here. I am so happy for the families that are going home but every time another one goes home I ask why not you.



You are losing weight and still no feeding, the word is tomorrow and tomorrow never comes. At what point have we asked too much of your little body? When I look into your eyes I see a fighter, but I wonder if we have asked to much of you? Your Mom or I would gladly trade places. I could use to loose some weight.




I can see that you are over the testing and poking, all I can do to comfort you is caress your forehead and sing to you. I can only hope that it is comforting to you.



I am tyring so hard to stay upbeat and positive but I think today I have hit bottom. I know tomorrow will be a better day.



Aunt Tiff came by and gave your mother some needed distraction time. Lately the only time we smile is when we make our plans to take you home. We are making a list for that too. if you could only see the amount of stuff have have managed to get in our little room.



I wish I was stronger, our family needs me to be. In a way this experience is making me a better father and a stronger man. For that and so many other tings I thank you my son.



-Dad

5 comments:

KristenChin1 said... Best Blogger Tips

George, you are an amazing father and a great man. I wish there was something that I could do to ease your stress and make you worry less. There are so many people praying for your whole family and send their love from afar. I hope that will give you some comfort. Mason is a fighter and a strong boy. He is so lucky to have you and Amy as parents. Stay strong, have faith and rest when you can. Sending big hugs and all my love. XO

sdiaz said... Best Blogger Tips

Hang in there Sis! I know it's hard, but you need to be strong for all of your 3 men:)

The Houston Family said... Best Blogger Tips

Hang in there! I too watched family after family leave. It felt like I lived in the hospital. They sent us back to the hospital in LasVegas and it was even worse. They only had folding metal chairs for us to sit on next to her bed. Remember to look at the positive. You are at a great hospital and are surrounded by great people. Eventually you will go home and this will just be a memory! God bless you all!

Megan said... Best Blogger Tips

Jelly dad,
I think you are so much stronger than you realize, and your family is so lucky to have such a great man!
I'm still sending lots of good thoughts and prayers to your family!

Sean said... Best Blogger Tips

George, this was a privilege to read. The strength the two of you have displayed is both touching and inspirational. Continued prayers for all of you. And as always, please do not hesitate to let us know if we can do anything